


A Long Night Away From Home

by Ta_Ma



Category: Olympics RPF, Swimming RPF
Genre: Angst, I hope, It Gets Better, Lots of Angst, M/M, but not so much
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-21
Updated: 2017-08-03
Packaged: 2018-08-16 12:24:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,835
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8102311
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ta_Ma/pseuds/Ta_Ma
Summary: Michael and Ryan have been fooling around during the Olympics, but Ryan gets quiet after the robbery scandal in Rio and Michael is worried about him.





	1. Lost and Scared

**Author's Note:**

> I've been struggling to write this for days, I started writing and thinking this fic when everything happened, but then I kind of abandoned it for some weeks. All-Phlochte-All-The-Time and SailorLestrade have helped me. This story is going to be one of the longest I've ever written and the longest I've writen in Enlgish, so please, be patient. 
> 
> Just FYI: 
> 
> \- I've totally made up Ryan's agent's name (If anyone knows the real one, I can totally change it)
> 
> \- The PoV keeps changing during the fic, hope it's not too confusing.

When he gets to the party, Ryan's already angry, both at himself for falling again for the same shit, and at Michael for letting him hope, so he kind of drinks whatever they put in front of him. When the team arrived in Rio, and he and Michael started rooming together again, everything fell into that old comfortable pace. The connection was still there and the old jokes and intimacy hit them hard. Michael started acting like he did some years earlier, and suddenly, Ryan was in love again. It started with some kisses and cuddling because they were both to compete and they weren't teenagers anymore, and after the 4x100m final, the adrenaline hit them hard and they were suddenly kissing each other aggressively, and groping and touching, and before Ryan knew what was going on, Michael was on his knees before him, and then everything was warm and the pleasure was almost unbearable, and he knew he had been missing it a lot more than he was willing to admit.

The morning after they woke up tangled and happy, and Michael was a lot more physical and sweet with him, even in public, and Ryan couldn't help to start hoping and wondering what his life could be like after retiring if Mike was with him. He knew, even if he wasn't willing to think much about it, that things were going to be complicated and messy, with Nicole and Boomer in the game. But in his mind Nicole kind of disappeared and he could picture Michael and himself starting a family with Boomer.

The 200 IM final kind of sucked, but that night Michael was so tender and considerate with him. They made love, even when MP had another final to swim the day after, and they slept together, embracing each other in Ryan's small bed. But Saturday had come, and Michael started acting in a distant way, and Ryan knew that it was going to hurt like hell, because it had happened before, and that withdrawing feeling was kind of familiar and it was even worse because now he was aware that Michael was getting married soon and not to him.

When Thiago had suggested the party, Ryan had been absolutely disposed to forget everything partying. He knew it wasn't the smartest move because Michael was invited too and if he did come, things could get awkward. But Ryan was absolutely convinced that he needed to move on and a party seemed the best way to start.

So he drinks like there's no tomorrow and dances and chats with everyone who's willing to listen to him, and he really hopes he's not barging about Mike to strangers. At some point, he's kind of aware of a hot body against his and it feels too hard and big to be a woman's body but he doesn't care, he just lets the pleasure take the pain away. At some point, some of the younger guys from the team talk about taking a taxi to the Villa and when he looks around, the party is quite dead, so he agrees. After that, everything is kind of blurry, but at some point he gets the feeling that he's doing something that he shouldn't be doing, and then suddenly everybody is yelling and a guy who looks like a cop points a gun at them, and Ryan doesn't really know what's going on because someone is yelling in Portuguese and he's freaking out.

When they get to the villa it is maybe that he's still feeling the fright in his bones or maybe it's the comedown or it may be that Michael is not using their room anymore and his half is empty and neat, but he needs to feel loved so he calls his mum. It's when he hears her startled voice that he realizes his mistake. It's too early in the morning and they were going to meet in some hours, so she's picked up thinking that something bad has happened. He decides he's not telling her, at thirty-two, that he's got in trouble with some armed guard because he was too drunk to know better. So he kind of picks some details and lets some information out, at tells her he's been robbed and then explains to her that he's tired and he needs to sleep a bit to overcome the fright, and Ike is sweet on the phone and calls him "baby" and tells him to rest, so he does.

 

>>>>>>>>>>>> 

 

Going back with Nicole and starting a family was Michael’s agent’s idea, after the second DUI and that dark period they needed to bring back a reliable Michael Phelps for people to trust and love again, and at first it had seemed like a good idea, Mike really wanted to let his irresponsible self behind, he wanted to be once again the successful swimmer, he wanted to be once again the person that Americans wanted to represent them and the country. He had wanted his family and friends to be proud of him. So he had thrown himself to that PR stunt, he had smiled and taken pictures, and had played happy family man. And everything was going just fine until he had met Ryan again. Because Ryan was everything that Michael had been missing those years, Ryan was easygoing and fun, he was happy in a stupid adorable way. And once in Rio, with the two of them rooming together again, Michael had been unable to stop it, he had fallen for him again, and for his smile, for his incredible blue eyes, and his tanned skin, and his childlike behavior. And during those days in Rio, everything had been easy, and every time Michael had drawn himself nearer Ryan, he had looked so happy, that Mike had been unable to pull himself apart, and during those days, Michael had been pretending not to remember about Nicole, Boomer and the PR team.

 

But now, everything is over and even though Michael is tired of playing the part of dad and future husband and perfect family, he just knows that he has to leave. He gets the invitation to Thiago’s party, but he doesn’t want to go to a place where there are booze and confusion feeling like this because he knows himself and that’s a bad idea. So he just obeys the PR team and goes to the hotel with Nicole and the baby.

 

<<<<<<<<<<<<<<< 

 

It is the unstoppable buzzing of his phone what wakes him up hours later. Ryan just stares at the screen for a couple of minutes, he is taking his time understanding most of the texts and missed calls, but then one of them kind of clicks his mind.

 

<10.05H Jimmy F: WTF, man? What did you do?>

 

Suddenly, the conversation with his mother replays on his head and he knows he has fucked things up. He checks the media, still laying on his bed, and the words “robbery” and “gunpoint” stand highlighted by his name.  When his phone goes off again, it’s his agent’s name what lights up the screen.

 

“Katie, hey” he says, and he knows that his voice sounds tired.

“What. Happened?” She asks very slowly, and he feels dumb.

“I’m really not sure”

“Well, that’s bad. But normal, I guess.” her voice is flat, and he knows she is mad but doesn’t want to let it show. “What do you remember?”

“We were leaving a party, and I was kind of wasted, and then we stopped at a gas station, but the restroom was closed and…” he frowns trying to clear the mess in his head “Suddenly a guy drew a gun on us… and he asked for money…”

“Well, that does sound scary…” she says and she sounds like she is pondering something. “Are you okay? Were you hurt?”

“Yeah…”

“Fine. Try to keep quiet, for a bit, I’ll get back to you”

 

When he hangs up, he feels guilty, because he shouldn’t have said anything, but now all is done, and he only hopes she can fix it. He doesn’t reply Jimmy’s text or thinks about it again, he just tries to keep himself calm and go on with whatever the plan is.

 

She calls hours later, after he’s seen his mother and his siblings, and everything seems under control. They agree that he gives a statement about what happened, he has to make the episode sound less serious, and then he flies home with his family. Katie apparently thinks that all this is going to be an anecdote and anything else in short time. Ryan is fine with that, so he agrees.

 

The thing is, Ryan doesn’t really remember how things went, he just has some of the details clear enough, and he kind of gets carried away with the narration while he is on TV. So he ends up telling a story that a mix between what he told his mother and what he does remember. When he is done, Ryan just wants to go home and forget about everything, so he does that. He has finished his competition and he feels tired, not just physically, but mainly psychically. Watching Michael play family with that woman has left him hurting, and he just wants to stop thinking about the whole thing, and he knows that it is not going to be easy, but maybe if he leaves Rio behind, he can pretend that everything is over. For good.

 

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> 

 

Once at home, Michael is exhausted and feels drained, and he misses Ryan so much. He has been trying to keep distance and stay apart, but he is so done. And it is when someone from his PR team tells him something like “Don’t let yourself near Lochte in any way for the next couple of weeks”, that something clicks in his mind and he starts checking Ryan’s social media. Michael is not even prepared for what he sees there, he had learnt about the robbery and had been about to call Ryan to ask if he was okay. But his team said he was and he had been working so much on keeping his image clean and family friendly, so he decided to keep things cool for some time.

 

<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

 

Then is when the shit hits the fan. Suddenly everyone is talking trash about him and calling him a liar and saying that he did things that he really doesn’t remember doing. Ryan is sort of grateful that he got to leave Rio before all this started because he doesn’t know if he would have been able to deal with it being there. Katie is trying to shield him a bit, but it isn’t really working, because he is perfectly aware of his name and his face being tagged with words like “liar”, “idiot” or “irresponsible”.

 

And then Ryan starts avoiding looking at his phone as much as he cans because every time he checks it he becomes aware that Michael has not texted or called, and that makes his stomach drop and brings up this awful feeling of abandoned and hopelessness. So he just tries not to think, but it’s kind of difficult to do when he can’t distract himself because every time he turns the TV on or checks his social networks, he bumps into people or media insulting him. So he just shuts himself and lets his phone die, and spends his time curled up in his bed with Carter.

 

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> 

 

But now, Michael realizes how things have escalated and he doesn’t really know what to do. He tries calling Ryan, but he doesn’t pick up, so he looks for as much information as he finds because he has lost a few days of the story. When he tries calling again, he realizes that Ryan’s phone is not working.

 

He panics a bit because Ryan has never been the one to ignore his text or calls or to shut himself down like this. Mike ponders his options for a bit, he knows that the best try is Devon, if someone can get to Ryan in every situation, it’s Devon. But Michael also knows that Devon has learnt everything about their on-and-off relationship, and there’s the possibility that he doesn’t want to talk to Michael or even that he wants to punch his face, which, to be fair, wouldn’t be absolutely uncalled for, but Mike is reluctant to try. So he tries Katie because if she knows about them, will be professional about it.

 

“Katie?”

“That’s me”

“I’m Michael” he says but when she does not talk, he adds “Phelps”

“Oh. Hi.” there is a pause and then she asks plainly “What do you want?”

“I know this is totally out of your duties… But I’ve been trying to reach Ryan and his phone is not working…” He says, and he realizes how worried he really is. “Do you know if he is okay?”

“Well… he has not answered my calls the last couple days… Either.” she sounds a bit reluctant but she goes on “I don’t know if I should tell you this, but I get that he does not want to talk. We are working to minimize the impact of this issue” and she does really sound tired. “I guess that once we have this a bit more figured out, he’ll be more willing to talk.”

“Thank you. Really, for what you are doing for him and for answering me… Thank you” when he hangs up, Michael feels drained. He is really worried for Ryan because he knows how things like this can affect someone, and he feels impossibly guilty for not being there for Ryan.


	2. I don't know how to do this anymore

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michael goes to L.A. to find Ryan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry. I didn't want to abandon this fic for so long, and I know there is no real justification. It takes me longer to write in English than doing so in my mother tongue, but I could have finished this chapter and the whole story a lot earlier. But if you follow me on Tumblr (I'm @Phlochte-love-story), you'll know I had to take a break from this fandom. I'm back now, I hope this chapter is up to your expectations. I'm still writing the last chapter and it may take me a while, but I promise I won't abandon it again unless something big happens.

Michael keeps trying, he calls and texts, but Ryan doesn’t call back nor reads the texts either, and Mike is so worried that he stops caring about anything else. Nicole and the team keep pressing him, telling him that he should be preparing the wedding and pretending that he cares about the flowers, the cake and if the color of the table clothes matches the one for the maids’ dresses.  But Michael couldn’t care less about any of it, nor the wedding or Nicole, not even Boomer. He is just worried about Ryan because he hasn’t heard from him for several days. He has even tried calling Devon, but he is not picking up either. One night, he is looking through some old pictures, and he realizes that his own smiles are bigger in the photos where he is with Ryan, so Michael decides he needs to go to L.A. and check on him. He looks for a plane ticket, finds one for the following day and he just buys it.

 

>>>>>>

Ryan is a mess; he doesn’t even know which day it is. He hasn’t left the house for days and he has no intention to do so the following days. His phone died some days ago and Ryan hasn’t bothered charging it or anything, he does not want to know from anyone. He knows that people who really care will find a way to reach him, but he feels so alone and abandoned. He misses Michael so much… he misses how Mike makes him feel safe and sane in a way nobody else does.

But Michael hasn’t called and Ryan thinks that maybe everything would be better if he stopped having feelings for him. They have been playing this kind of game for too long, they mess around until things get a little too serious and then one of them backs away so things don’t get weird, they have done it for years, but later Michael is always the one to pull back, and now Ryan is tired. He misses his friend and his lover. But he also needs someone who can stand by him in shitty moments like this, and he knows that Michael isn’t that person.

 

<<<<<<

Michael calls Devon again after he’s packed, and this time he does answer.

“What do you want?” he asks, voice stern and Michael really can’t blame him.

“How is he?” Mike asks, voice low.

“Do you really care?” Devon has always been direct, for good and bad stuff. “Or are you only asking because you feel guilty?”

“Devon, I’m worried about him, I need to know how he is, but he won’t pick up the phone” he says as sincerely as he can.

“Yeah. Guess he’s broken the thing. He is fine though. I mean, physically fine, he hasn’t hurt himself or anything” then he is silent for a couple seconds “I am not telling you anything else. If you wanna know how he really is, you’ll have to find out by yourself.”

“I will, thanks, Devon.” He’s about to hang up because it seems like Devon is not going to say anything else, be then he does.

“He needs you, Mike”

 

>>>>>>

Ryan is trying to get everything locked outside of his house, he doesn’t want to speak to anyone who isn’t Carter, and he has stopped watching the TV or checking his computer, he just wanders around the house and lets the dog follow him everywhere, and drinks, he’s pretty sure that if he keeps this pace, he’ll be out of everything drinkable in a matter of days or hours, he is not really sure about time anymore.

It must have been weeks when Ryan realizes that he can’t keep up like this. He is staring blankly at his fridge, looking for something to feed Carter, and when he realizes that it is mostly empty, except for half a lemon and a whipped cream can, which he can’t exactly remember when was bought. He closes the door and sees his pictures, the first one he spots has Mike in it, and he just snatches it from the pin that is holding it and crumples the photo because he can’t bear to see Michael’s face right now. Ryan leaves the wrinkled picture on the counter and then looks at the other photos, there’s one with his mother, Devon and Brandon that catches his eye, and he decides it’s been enough.

Ryan decides in that moment, watching his family’s faces, that he’s got enough of self-pity and he knows that if he does not make things better, the mess he has gotten himself into is not going to disappear miraculously, so he makes a decision. Ryan Lochte is going to fix his life because he is a grown up and he doesn’t need anyone else to take care of things for him. He has been long enough moping for someone who really isn’t there for him, and Ryan is aware that if he doesn’t want to keep on like this, he has to move on and get himself over Michael *fucking* Phelps for good.

But first things first, Ryan is going to fix his life step by step, and he is going to start by having a shower and after that, he will go grocery shopping, because if he doesn’t get real food for himself and Carter, the dog may probably start eating the furniture.

 

<<<<<<

When he lands on L.A., Michael doesn’t even think about preparing himself before visiting Ryan, because he is so worried about his well-being that the only thing he can think about doing is checking on his friend. Devon has provided Ryan’s new address, although a bit reluctantly when Michael had begged him for a way to reach his older brother. So Michael takes a taxi at the airport and gives the directions from Devon’s text. His hopeless mindset has provided a bunch of terrible images of Ryan depressed and about to do something unspeakable, so the scene he finds when he rings the bell to Ryan’s place is quite surprising, but a lot less worrying.

The older swimmer looks like he was about to leave, not forever like Michael may have pictured, but just for a walk, and judging by the leash in his hand, not a lonely one. He is dressed in a tee and cargo shorts, he is wearing one of his flashier pair of sneakers and his hair is wet from the shower. Michael just stares at him for a moment, he doesn’t know what to say, and he is fairly relieved to see that Ryan is coping better than he imagined.

Ryan is taken aback by Michael presence at his front door, he is speechless for a minute, and he is about to smile and let him in, but then all the frustration, desperation and the feeling of abandonment that has been haunting him since the incident in Rio, kick in and Ryan’s expression goes sour.

“What the hell are you doing here?” he spits more than asks.

“I just…” Michael seems so shocked, but Ryan doesn’t let his finish whatever he was going to say.

“No, Mike. You don’t get to come find me whenever you feel like it” and Ryan can tell how tired his voice sounds, but he really means what he is saying. “You always do the same… You give me a little attention every now and then, just to keep me hooked on you, on this” he says pointing at the space between the two of them “And I can’t do this anymore. I need to move on; I can’t be your mistress or whatever this is. If you really want this perfect life you’ve built yourself with your wife, kid, dogs and house with fences, you need to let me go” judging by Michael’s face, his message is sinking, and for a second, Ryan feels guilty to be responsible for Mike’s sad expression, but he knows he needs to do this for his own sake. “I need to go on with my life and I can’t if you keep doing this”, Ryan knows he is about to cry, so he doesn’t say anything else.

Michael just stays a moment, looking for something to say, some kind of justification or excuse for everything Ryan has said, but he doesn’t seem to find any words. A moment later, he nods twice, without looking at Ryan, like he is trying to convince himself of something, and then he just says “I’m sorry. I didn’t want to bother you… Bye, Ry”. And then he is gone, and Ryan needs a moment to understand what has happened because he didn’t expect Michael to leave without a fight. He stays on his open door for several minutes, he does not really know how long, because he just gets aware of his situation when Carter barks and starts licking the hand he is holding the dog’s leash with.

“Come on boy, let’s go for a walk” and Carter seems happy, but Ryan doesn’t. He had hoped that he would feel a lot more relieved once he had told Michael how he felt, but he doesn’t. He keeps missing something and just feels drained, but he guesses a walk will help him clear his own mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any way of feedback is very welcome


End file.
